Emotional Intelligence: The new buzz word!
One of the latest buzz words in today’s society is “emotional intelligence “, or EI as it is often called. But the questions remain, what exactly is EI, why is it so popular, why is it important, and what does it have to do with me? Let’s explore together.
What is Emotional intelligence?
A simple definition of EI is been aware of your own emotions, how it affects others and how well you manage it. This is not a new concept at all, but today it seems to be pushed more regularly than ever before. With a culture that is highly sensitive in so many ways, EI makes sense as being one of today’s top priority. In order for anyone to meet this basic requirement of EI, one has to be proficient in recognizing one’s own emotions, understanding its impact on others, and using that knowledge constructively in a self-awareness manner. However, this can be quite challenging for many. Another very important component of EI is showing empathy, (which will be discussed in more details later) and managing our relationships with others. This relationship can be with anyone, from family members to friends, colleagues and even strangers.
In my research on this topic, I have found four recognized attributes of EI
Self-awareness. This is extremely important as it allows each individual to not only learn to be self-aware, but also to recognize and understand their emotions, and how it influences their behaviors. If one fails to achieve self-awareness, then they inadvertently will not be able to recognize how their own emotions impact them. They would be unable to self-regulate or self- check, let alone understand how their emotions affect others.
Self-regulation. This quality helps us to be able to control impulsive reactions and manage our own emotions. There are many instances when we or others have said something, and immediately wished that we hadn’t. This is where self-regulation comes into play. It’s simply thinking or taking the time to process before you speak. Being able to demonstrate self control is an important and valuable skill that we all should learn.
Social awareness. Speaks to how one understands others, both their feelings and needs. This is very important, as part of being socially aware, one should be able to pick up on social cues, especially the non-verbal ones. Also known as “reading the room “. It’s very important that you are aware of what’s taking place around you, especially when no words are being exchanged.
Being aware of facial expressions, tone of voice and other body language cues, is vital and can help you pick up on things that others may miss. This can help you understand what’s being said, even in the absence of words.
Relationship management. This is extremely important for building and maintaining healthy positive connections. This is where communities are built and friendships are formed, managed and maintained. Being emotional intelligent, is essential when building communities, including forming friendship relationships. Being aware not only in regards to yourself, but also with others is essential in forming lasting relationships.
Why is Emotional Intelligence important?
EI is important for several reasons, including
Reducing stress. Who doesn’t want to reduce stress in today’s society? When you are
emotional intelligent, you won’t necessarily have to worry about how you come across to others, if you are using this skillset correctly. You could appear more honest and open to others, whilst being sensitive to their needs, opinions and perspectives. It shows that you care about yourself, how you come across to others, and how well you understand others.
Global Connector EI helps everyone in bringing awareness to themselves as well as others. When we look at understanding others from a global perspective, it’s very important to look at the whole picture, including cultural norms, languages, and other factors that can help us understand individuals that are different from us. With proper uses of EI there can be real life impacts that can create smoother transitions overall. It’s almost inevitable that we will come into contact with individuals from places different from our own, and being able to understand and connect with them can be impactful.
Build self-confidence and promote personal success, as it can help one to navigate social complexities. Imagine being able to understand others’ emotions and responding accordingly to them. This helps to minimize misconceptions, and increase understanding of others and their feelings. This in return can help boost one’s self confidence, as they are able to navigate and respond effectively to others, without any hang ups. Off course understanding your own emotions, are huge as mention before, especially when you are being responsive and accountable for your own stuff.
How can one improve their own Emotional Intelligence skills?
Emotional intelligence is our responsibility and like other types of behavior awareness and outcomes, it’s controlled by the individual. Therefore, it’s up to the individual to work on
themselves. EI has to be both intentional and purposeful like anything else that one sets out to accomplish, in order for it to be effective. Some of the most effective steps to achieving EI includes, but is not limited too.
Engage in Mindful Observation
Observe your surroundings without distractions. This can be extremely hard to do in today’s society where everyone is constantly on their smart phones, including constant scrolling, walking around with heads glued to their phones, and not being aware of our surroundings. Being present is extremely hard to accomplish these days, this is why it’s emphasized here, as a way to start engaging in intentional mindful observation and being more present daily.
Breathing Exercises
When your emotions are at its highest, practicing strategic breathing can be essential, especially slow deep breathing. This can help regulate emotions, as it will also give you the time to stop and think as you engage in this breathing exercise. It also allows you to be present, as you will have to focus on your breathing. Study shows the many benefits of deep breathing; therefore, I’m not surprised to find it here as well.
Practicing Empathy
This is another buzz word, that I’m seeing a lot more lately. This goes hand in hand with EI, as one becomes more self-aware and aware of others, empathy seems to be the next step in this process. Empathy simple means putting yourself into someone else’s place and “getting where they are coming from”. Everyone wants to be understood, and demonstrating empathy will display this skill. A great example for learning empathy, includes engaging in role play; by putting yourself in the “shoes’ of others.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening teaches us to truly listen when someone else’s speaks, without interrupting or pre formulating your responses whilst they are speaking. This will show authentic interest in what they are saying in words and feelings. Active listening is a word popular word used especially in learning how to be an effective communicator. It makes sense that this is an essential part of a skill set, that makes one more effective in developing EI.
Ask Open Ended Questions
By doing this you are opening up the space for deeper richer and more meaningful conversations with others. This lets others know that you are curious about them in a healthy and genuine manner. It builds lasting communities and friendship relationships; which can be a vital component and building block that promotes further discussions and interest.
Practicing Random Acts of Kindness
Simple small gestures can change not only your outlook, but someone else’s as well. Simple gestures like holding the door for someone, a smile, giving up your seat on the train or bus, expressing gratitude can all have an impact on a bigger level, than we can ever imagine. We can never know what others are going through at any given time, and just a small gesture can turn
that person’s day, mood, perspective around instantly. Most importantly these gestures are free and doesn’t cost us anything, but awareness.
Self-Reflection.
After your conversations with others, do take some time to reflect on it. Think about your responses, ask yourself were they appropriate? Did I show empathy? Did I listen actively and what did I learn from the conversation or experience? These simple questions will get you started on processing your encounter, whilst doing some inner and deeper self-reflection.
In conclusion, we can see how important this concept of emotional intelligence truly is. Practicing all and any of the above listed skills, can only help one become more emotionally intelligent, starting with looking at one’s self, as the first step in developing this important skill. I truly believe it’s absolutely vital in our culture today to be not only extremely self-aware, but also being aware of how our emotions and behaviors affect others in all aspects of our lives.
Showing and being empathic is an important aspect of emotional intelligence, which is undeniable vital in being self-aware, and understanding how our emotions actually affect others.
