Keeping it Spicy….

One of the questions that I get asked all the time from couples is, how do we keep it hot and spicy?  Every relationship is different and it may go through their ups and downs.  Couples are often left feeling hopeless and depleted after a couple of years if they let things go.  Keeping your relationship going will take some work, if you are in a relationship that lacks luster, but nothing that can’t be worked on.  Couples oftentimes have to get creative and think outside the box, if they desire to find new and improved ways to keep it spicy.  This can be difficult however, if they are not willing to change up some things.  We know how the “change process” in therapy can be, it can be hard but not impossible.

Now there are a few couples that I personally know, that don’t need to do anything per se to keep their relationship spicy, it just flows for them.  These couples are in sync and it appears seamless for them.  However,  for some couples this may be a bit harder at this, as this isn’t as that seemless for them.  There is one particular couple that comes to mind when I think about this topic.  They have a standing date night every Friday, regardless of the weather, season, distractions etc, and they have been doing this for years.  This couple is super creative and clever in their approach and their relationship, it’s at the top of their priority list.

Keeping it spicy is conducive to many relationships if the couple what’s to continue with a blissful romantic relationship.  Actually it doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be thoughtful and romantic. It can be as simple as cooking a favorite meal, or buying each other their favorite treats, snacks, playing made up games,  handwritten love notes/cards, again it doesn’t have to cost a thing.   It however, has to be genuine and something that both parties agree on.  One of the most important things in a lasting relationship is knowing and speaking each other’s love language.  If you are the type of person that has not been paying attention to your partner, then it’s imperative that you do so, as you don’t want to miss any clues about what they may or may not want.  You will have to commit to doing what it takes to make it work.

Couples who need help in this area can seek it out and will be surprised how easy it can be to put a little spicy-ness back into their relationship, that can help move things in the right direction.   It has to be meaningful  to the other person,  and ofcourse to each other.  Keeping your relationship hot and spicy is imperative, especially if the relationship has been dwindling and needs a boost of flavor.   You have to make it work, regardless of what it takes, if it’s worth it.